Even from Winter, Spring

Life moves in circles. Sometimes we cannot see where we are on the elliptic because Time makes certain experiences seem linear and endless.

The sun disappears in winter and we who live in northern climes wonder if we will ever feel its warmth again. A soul sister and moon goddess, Selene, told me when we first met, “The days are long and the years are short”.

We were speaking about the challenges of being boy moms and trying to grow community in the hyper individualized and segregated society we live in. The wisdom has continued to apply in countless seasons of Life. A desire to witness and be witnessed over time. Watching and tending the cycles of life together. The holding.

Even now, looking at the last blog post, made three years ago, I marvel at how much life has taken place and yet, how I am still present in the same body albeit with a few more miles on it. Living in three dimensions is an exercise in patience and wonder, of ebbing and flowing like the pulling tides rocked by the moon.

There is comfort in knowing that what rises will settle and what languishes will change at some point. The circle teaches us that we are part of a bigger system, a body that moves to the heartbeat of Life itself.

For the last two days I have sat in a circle with teachers from the Native Wellness Institute and listened to the collected wisdom of their lives and work and healing journeys. Shalene Joseph, Tomas Karmelo Amaya, Robert, and Wade shared their stories with open hearts and good words and a deep humanity that opened doors for the rest of us to take healthy risks and share our questions and stories. We are all teachers and learners simultaneously when we stand side by side in a circle.

They recommended a book called The Seven Circles-Indigenous Teachings for Living Well. I bought it and am listening to it now, vibing hard with the perspective of interconnection and acknowledgement of the relationality we all share as co-inhabitants of this planet. What we do to others we do to ourselves. On the circle we are all connected through our actions, words, and thoughts.

Like a spider web and the turning of the seasons, I feel called to continually re-sensitize my heart and mind to the nuances and foundations of Life. Change is a natural and eternal rhythm in this plane of existence. By mastering ourselves we become agents of healing and balance for the world. Robert said, while sharing a piece of his healing journey, “Your story might be someone else’s survival guide.” We are responsible for our actions but may never fully know how they have impacted another soul.

Even in winter, spring is still alive, sleeping, resting, waiting for the turning of the circle to bring it the warmth and light it needs to awaken. We need every season in our lives to grow just as we need every season for our health and wellbeing.

I am so glad to be tiptoeing back into this space as the light lengthens. My son will be 11 this year. I remember birthing him on Easter in the brightest midday sun. It was warm, in the 70s, much like it may be this year. One circle closes, another begins, and I am grateful to be dancing in the midst of it all.